Desperate Tom Cruise-Lover Gets Movie Deal

In 2005, Chinese author/actress/weirdo Niki Yan wrote the autobiographical novel “My Love for You, Tom Cruise — A Desperate Chinese Girl’s Confession,” chronicling her journey from a poor Chinese village to America four years earlier. While the tale of a young Chinese girl escaping poverty in a small village and realizing her dream has become hackneyed and to some, downright boring, certainly the story of Niki Yan is neither. Yan didn’t set out for America in pursuit of freedom or religious tolerance or a new life. Nor did she need to break free from the shackles of Chinese repression. Rather, Yan left her home at the age of 16 and traveled to America because she had seen Top Gun and wanted to meet Tom Cruise. Yes, that’s right. Tom Cruise. That little Scientologist who left his coolness in 1992 (perhaps on the set of A Few Good Men) and began a slow transformation into the beacon of smugness and sanctimony he is today. Though Yan doesn’t quite see him this way. Here is how Yan described her feelings for Cruise to PRWeb in 2005:

Tom Cruise was my role model, he changed my life, and I’ve learned so much from him: being positive; being myself, and never been afraid of anything. Like he said: “Life is an adventure, and the adventure is how you make it.” His courage and faith, love and compassion, determination and responsibility, had a big impact on my life. Spiritually he is positive and clear, emotionally he is kind and compassionate, brain and heart; what more can you ask from a human? He is truly amazing.

Despite the fact that Yan possesses all the symptoms of a kooky celebrity stalker and that I can’t find an English publication of her book anywhere but her blog, a major Beijing-based film studio has bought the rights to her book and intends to shoot a major motion picture, according to a Friday press release. Not only that, Zhang Yimou, who directed Hero and House Of Flying Daggers, is expected to direct the Yan-inspired flick. The release also speculated that actress Zhang Ziyi, of Hero and Crouching Tiger fame would play the role of Niki Yan. However, Yan has vehemently opposed the casting saying, “I have to star in it. It’s my story, it’s my life. I can’t imagine someone else playing me, even Zhang.” And if you still do not believe that Yan is certifiably mental, let me share with you a poem that serves as the foreword of her “novel”:

Life in a small village
Top Gun changed my life
Going to the city ( who is Tom Cruise)
I was the rebel ( High school Drop-out)
The factory Girl
Beijing at night ( A Show girl’s Life )
Good bye, China

It seems almost like destiny that Niki Yan and Tom Cruise might meet again on the big screen. These two belong together.

Image: Kinda Gross